#the bats

[fifthnailinstevesbat]

THE…. BATS…. THE BATS THEHDYWBXYEU THE BATS OH MY GOD I NEED TO RUN AWAY RIGHT NOW I FANT DO THIS HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO ACT NORMAL ABOUT THIS THE BATS THE BATS THIS IS THE BEST THING IVE EVER SEEN THE BATS OH MY GOD THE BATS.

OKAY okay so you want me to die, okay

ALSO

DUSTIN'S HAIR IS SHORTER THAN THE HIGH SCHOOL SPOILERS, THE CLOTHES IS 90'S CODED, TO GET TATTOOS IN THAT TIME YOU HAD TO BE OF LEGAL AGE (in a legitimate place)

THAT MEANS DUSTIN IS 18.

THIS IS THE 90s.

STEVE MIGHT FUCKING LIVE.

[mikeluciraphgabe]

Very public and an obviously not fake Batman is Bruce Wayne reveal

But Bruce simple acts like this never happened

_

Reporter: MR. WAYNE, MR. WAYNE, WHY HAVE YOU BEEN HIDING THE FACT YOU ARE A FOUNDING JUSTICE LEAGUE MEMBER?

Bruce, head tilt, eyes squinted: .. What is a “justice league”

-

Reporter: Mr. Wayne, prince and knight of Gotham-

Bruce: why would I be “night” of Gotham? I would be 3:24 pm at most

-

Gothamite: thank you for the save Batman… or Mr. Wayne… do I call you Batman in the suit and Mr. Wayne when you get coffee on Wednesdays?

Batman: *turning around slowly* what the fuck is a Mr. Wayne?

-

Villain: ah, Batman, or should I say BRUCE WAYNE-

Batman: *puffing up* WHO is this ‘Wayne’ and why is he impersonating me

[were-wolverine]

[ryemiffie]

Uh something something Nightwing goes to kill Joker after Jason's death and joker says "Everyone knows the bats don't kill!" And then Nightwing says "I'm not a bat, I'm a robin" ..aaaaanyways, crinkle cut or waffle fries??

[sketchnskribbles]

December Prompt: Tangled up in Christmas Lights

((The bg is not mine. I found it on google))

With carefully controlled huffs of air, one quiet figure ran on the many rooftops that made up the dark and dreary streets of his fair city.

With a sharp inhale, he braced himself for another leap from one roof to the next. Tucking into a well practice roll and springing back up to continue. The HUD within his icon red mask faithfully directed him to where Oracle had said two of his fellow Knights were staking out a potential lead.

They’d been working on the same case for nearing about two months now. It had been enough of a brain scratcher that the Batman, himself, had even asked for Hood to utilize his own underworld contacts in the hopes of singling out the new terror that threatened their streets.

Jason had made no attempt to restrain his enthusiasm in dangling Bruce’s reluctant request over his head. “Oh… so you need my help? The Big Bad Bat crawling to lil ol’ me?”

The old man certainly regretted it, Jason was sure. He’d toned it down after a couple of weeks. To the relief of the family. It wasn’t exactly something that stayed amusing for long. He could admit that much.

Despite the grief he’d given. Red Hood’s contacts proven to be the correct route and he had become privy to a meeting between some of their current suspects. It had been originally planned to be two Tuesdays out.

Until Oracle had just reached out to him ten minutes ago that the meeting time frame had been, for whatever reason, accelerated and the meeting had been pushed for that very night.

Hood had been urged to meet up with Nightwing and Robin just outside the location radius.

It was as much a relief to be able to shuffle to a stop, as much as it was a let down. Nothing like a good bout of parkour to really get the blood pumping.

He took in deep deliberate breaths as he looked around in search of the familiar colors of blue, red, and yellow.

The vigilante crime lord tilted his head and placed his hands on his hips when there were no brothers in sight. “Huh…”

To the side, an abandoned glass bottle skidded across a darkened corner and over the side of the roof. It brought the hairs on the back of his head stand on end and he carefully shifted into a fighting position. Briefly, he considered bringing out one of his guns, before dismissing the thought. He was currently outside of Crime Alley on a job for the Bats. It’d be best to at least try to play along by there rules.

For now.

A scuffle came from behind and Hood ducked. Rolling backwards and successfully tripping his would-be attacker.

With an “Oof!” A certain small angry bird collided with the Red Hood and stumbled back up to his feet. The scowl that was shot at him made Jason laugh out loud. His gaze inevitably went from his baby brother’s face and down to what Robin was holding.

A jolt of confusion ran through the crime lord to see the unplugged cord of Christmas lights clutched tightly in the kid’s hand. “Wha—”

One of Jason’s arms, that he had raised with the plan to scratch the back of his neck, was ensnared by what had to be the other end of the cord. There had been still plenty more slack to be used and Jason had been far too shocked to make any defense when Nightwing had ran past his field of sight with a particularly heinous cackle. Forcing Jason’s arm against his chest.

Damian came back into action and both the oldest and youngest Robins made quick work of wrapping up the second Robin in a very seasonal trap.

“Tsk, and here I thought you would actually present a challenge.” The little ankle biter dared to scoff out.

Jason tested his restraints with a sharp jolt. His limbs were too tightly wrapped to give him enough room to try to break free. The hand partially hidden away from his laughing brothers already held a small knife that began to cut into the cords.

“Oh-ho, man, Little Wing!” Dick ran a hand through his messy hair. “You really make for a great Christmas tree. If only we had a proper outlet to light you up!”

“Indeed. Quite a pity.” Damian shook his head. He stood proudly next to his oldest brother with a satisfied expression.

“You tricked me!” Jason snarled. Making a show of trying to break free. Not wanting them to notice his slow progress just yet, if at all. He could feel his blood pressure rising at the laughter unashamedly bursting from his earpiece. Barbara was certainly having the time of her life for being someone that was now on his shit-list.

“Perhaps you should have listened better to your lessons within the league.” The little demon mused. Pretending to check his nails through his stupid little green gloves.

Nightwing was already pulling out a folded piece of paper that really made Hood groan. With a clearing of his throat the eldest brother began, “Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?”

The night was startlingly quiet for a city that was notorious for its streets to be bursting with gunshots and screams. It was typically slower during this line of year. It was at this point considered to be bad luck to commit crimes or even make a pit stop at a store during the holidays. As that was usually when the crazies normally liked to come out.

Jason was pretty sure the crazies included the hero vigilantes as well, considering the literal torture he was now going to be subjected to.

“Well?” Dick asked with a pout. “Aren’t you gonna ask who?”

Damian brought out an intricately designed dagger with narrowed eyes. Perfectly standing where Dick couldn’t see him. Jason rolled his eyes.

“Who?” The crime lord grunted out. He had to stay calm. It wouldn’t due to lose his advantage when he’d nearly found the weak point in his bindings.

“A mince spy!” Nightwing declared with a rather blinding smile. “What’s every elf’s favorite type of music?”

“What?” Jason sighed.

“Wrap!”

Jason waited for three more “jokes” to pass when the most opportune time arose.

The screech of a cat and the clangs of fallen cans drew his brothers’ attention away and he cut the last thread he needed for his wrappings to fall off him.

With a slow roll of his neck and shoulders, he met the shocked expressions of his fellow vigilantes and leered over them threateningly. Uttering only a single word, “run.”

[haveihitanerve]

Im a complicated person. Sometimes I want cute platonic batfamily fluff and other times I want soap opera level complicated with inner shipping between the family. Either way I see them as a found family that at the end of day cares about each other.

exactly! we can have both... i have a broad variety of tastes!

@darkcrowprincess

[rubydubydoo122]

Who feeds the bats (the animals on the cave ceiling, not the vigilantes lol) in the batcave? Damian, probably. But once he leaves... Or does nobody feed them since they probably hunt for themselves?

Well, the cave existed before batman turned it into his batcave, so I would assume they just hunted for themselves the entire time, but Damian would've definitely fed them, and Dick would be like "Don't do that, they might eat you" (which is exactly what Bruce told him when Dick tried to feed the bats)

[thestarwarslesbian]

Eda: Look at that idiot trying to lead a rebellion while wearing a bat mask. Raine: Blasphem-you. Eda: Eda: That's my idiot.

[humanoidluv]

can i summon the kate kane artists to draw her as this format

[bandcampsnoop]

6/2/24.

I'm guessing Black Country, New Road and Dry Cleaning have listened to their fair share of Porridge Radio (Brighton, England) over the years. There's an intensity and song structure that recalls the fine work of both bands.

But this is way poppier than BCNR or Dry Cleaning. In fact, to me it sounds like The Bats crossed with either of those bands. But before I get too far out over my skis - "Rice, Pasta And Other Fillers" is the only Porridge Radio I've heard.

This album was originally released by Memorials of Distinction back in 2016. They've since repressed the LP and it's still available on Bandcamp.

[romanticjunk]

Prison Blues

[aprocessionofthoughts]

An Offer

part 3 of TFR ao3

The next morning Jazz wakes up to the smell of bacon. She frowns in confusion. Why would her parents be cooking?

Then she remembers. They’re in Gotham. Their parents left them behind. The kind librarian, Barbara, took them in. Jazz opens her eyes, sitting up and nudging Danny awake. He grumbles for a moment before freezing. Probably realizing like she did where exactly it is they are. 

“Morning, sleepyhead.”

“Morning.” Danny replied with his eyes still closed. 

Jazz sighed. “Come on. It smells like she’s getting breakfast made. And we still need to see about buying tickets.” “I could fly us.” Danny said through a yawn.

“Have you ever flown that far?” Danny didn’t respond.

“Do you even know in which direction Amity is?”

Danny huffed. “Fine. I just didn’t want you to have to spend your money.” he mumbled.

“Danny, look at me.” she waited till he did so. “Money isn’t important. What matters is making sure that we’re safe. So, if I have to spend some of my money buying us tickets home, then that is perfectly okay. Got it?” 

He didn’t really look reassured, but he nodded. Jazz didn’t push it.

“Come on. You wouldn’t want to eat a cold breakfast.”

—----

 Barbara had just finished setting the table when the kids walked in.

“Good morning! Did you guys sleep alright?”

“Yes, thank you.” The girl, Jazz said.

“Yeah, thanks.”

“It was no problem. I hope you guys are okay with eggs and bacon. If not, I’ve got cereal.

“This is good thanks.” Jazz said.

Barbara waited for them to start eating before speaking again.

“Where are you guys from?” 

“We’re from a small town in Illinois.” Jazz said.

“Are you both in school?”

“Yeah, Jazz is about to graduate, and I’m a sophomore.”

“Are you planning on going to college, Jazz?”

“I’m still looking at my options.”

“What about you, Danny, what do you do when you’re not in school?”

“I, umm… I just hang out with my friends.”

They talked for a bit longer before Barbara set down her fork.

“Look, Jazz, Danny, If your parents are… being difficult you could stay here.”

They both stiffened. “Our parents are fine. They’re just busy.” Jazz said.

“Still,”Barbara responded, “if they’re really busy I know people who could help you, places you could stay. I have a friend, who I think went through something similar. And I’d like to help, if you’ll let me.”

“Look, we’re fine.” Danny said.

“I understand.” Barbara sighed.

They sat in silence, fiddling with their silverware. Barbara tried to think of what to say next. If she insisted too much, they’d push her away. She needed to be patient, let them know that they could trust her.

“Thank you for the food and for letting us stay, but we need to purchase some bus tickets back home.” Jass finally said, setting her fork down.

“Of course. Let me take the dishes to the kitchen and then I’ll help you.”

“Thank you.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

Barbara smiled trying to keep the resignation of her face. 

—

Later after she’d cleaned up breakfast she went to the living room and pulled out her laptop.

“What town are you guys from?” she said while pulling up the bus travel website.

“There’s no bus stop at home, but I think there’s one in Wellsburg. It’s about an hour from home, but we can call a friend to pick us up from there.”

She nodded, clicked a few more buttons then handed over her computer. “Here, you can fill in the rest of the information and then I can print your tickets off.”

“Thanks.” Jazz said, then turned to look at her brother. “Can you get my credit card from my bag?”

“There's no need. I can pay.” Barbara said.

“Oh no, you already let us stay. We couldn’t possibly let you buy tickets as well. Jazz said, waving her off.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s just some bus tickets.”

Jazz hesitated before handing the computer back. 

Barbara smiled at her, trying to be reassuring. The siblings were glancing at each other and shuffling uncomfortably. She wouldn’t be surprised if they weren't used to people helping them. She just hoped they’d let her keep helping.

She looked back down at the computer. “You have two hours before you need to be at the station. Is there anything you’d like to do? I've got some board games.”

Jazz looked at Danny.

“Sure,” he shrugged, “why not.”

—

Barbara stared as the bus left then pulled out her phone and started trying to find more info on the kids. She’d seen their last name when she printed off the tickets so it shouldn’t be too hard to find the basics.

If she wanted them to be safe she’d have to try and find some proof of neglect. At least Jazz had accepted to put Barbara’s number in her phone. Barbara had reassured her that they could call her whenever, and that she’d always be willing to help them. She’d just have to hope that they’d be okay in the meantime.

[mikeluciraphgabe]

Part two (I kept forgetting to add the verification check so the ones with tim and jason that don’t have it ignore plz cuz I rlly don’t want to remake them🫶) (Cass and Damian don’t have Twitter btw) master-post

[were-wolverine]

people acting like dick would struggle to pick up/carry jason as if he can’t easily lift a grown man with one hand

everyone talks about bruce working out so he can still pick up his kids (mainly jason bc he’s the tallest and bulkiest) but no one talks about how dick could very likely pick up and carry bruce with little to no strain. in fact, bro could probably carry bruce and jason (with some effort)

like dick is way stronger than people think, just because he’s built like a gymnast and not a body builder. bro once supported over a thousand fucking pounds of rubble in order to save people from a burning building !!

anyway just. ranting about dick grayson as always

[ryemiffie]

More quotes from my day as batfam incorrect quotes:

Bruce: ...are you covered in ten gallons of pink gloss nail polish?

Dick: ...

Bruce: ...

Dick: ..no

Bruce: I really want to believe you.

Dick, sighing: ...me too